Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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