I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
