I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize