shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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