hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
well you can't waste a boner
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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