how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
