Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
