I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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