Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
