so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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