I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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