It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
