Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
No subtext here. People are naked.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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