Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
