I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
