Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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