drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
