yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
