i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
