He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
please come you make the beer taste better
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
