It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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