Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
