I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
