Jerry, you need to find god
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
