i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
