He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You took a bar mat shot.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
