babies were throwing up all over the place
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
