The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize