i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
