This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
