Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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