STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize