well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
