youre lurking in front of me
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
