Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
did i walk over a car last night?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
