its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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