does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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