please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
