omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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