I'm lost and stupid without you.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
