I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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