Slut skills are useful in every country.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
