You're so nebulous sometimes
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Randomize
