Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
