Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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