I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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