I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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