Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
