Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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