I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
