This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
