I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
