I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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