Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
