I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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