Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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