Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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