And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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