just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
