Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
even my farts smell like vagina
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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