I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
