I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize