You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
