What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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