fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
