I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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