He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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